William M. McNeely
My name is __________________, and I’m not complete. For if I was complete, I would not be seeking to be whole. But what does it mean to be whole? It means to be filled, complete; to become one. This means that I’ve been empty. My whole life has been a journey to fill this emptiness. At first, I never thought anything about filling it. I became content with not thinking any deeper in regards to my emptiness. The older I got, it became apparent that one truly will never be complete until this void was met. This was a journey; this was my struggle.
I tried filling it with happiness. Happiness in making others laugh, making them smile. Happiness only focusing on the things of this world. But this still only looks at the surface, I was never searching deeper. I looked inside myself and this emptiness was truly lonely. How was I to fill this loneliness? Again, I turned my hopes towards the temporal.
I once placed my will towards a meaning so cold, integrity measured by a world devout against any true hold.
Walking down this street called life; I turned against myself to find delight.
Endless nights filled with vanity, desperately seeking to fill my sanity.
Feelings of happiness, sought to end the sorrow; joy that was misguided, a feeling so hollow.
I sought out nights filled with pleasure, only finding other hearts quietly voided, and with no tether.
Loneliness kept me searching for more, for a loved one who would open the door.
I continued searching in a vain pursuit, further in my life, bearing no roots.
Striving and searching to be whole, this infinite void struck the depths of my soul.
The quest was guided in the wrong direction, seeking of temperance without real affection.
I turned my head away from the things of this world, and there I found the one who was both infinite and full.
Seeking out God our Father above, for he had placed this immeasurable void, so that we may be filled with love.
I found a new meaning to integrity; I cleaved unto God our Father, for in him I found serenity.
For we were once lost and voided with uncertainty; but in him we are found, our spirits summoned unto eternity.
God’s places this void in our hearts so that we will seek him.[i] We will never be fulfilled, for we are surrounded by a world of beauty that we will never fully comprehend. Questions will arise and will be answered with other questions to a time without end. It is because of this that one must seek a close relationship with God. For to pursue him is a calling to our life.
We were created to pursue God’s character; for it is God’s character in us which upholds our life. To pursue this character means that we ourselves, in our worldly ways, must die; for to become like him is to truly live.[ii] And to live a life filled with the freedom to love without limit is the true passion and desire that our Father wants us to make every effort towards. For if we seek God our Father with our entire desire and delight ourselves in him, we will then receive all the desires of our heart.[iii] This is truly what it means to be alive.
God truly see’s us living passionate lives through the eyes of delight. We have a God who is so humble that he chooses to transform us rather than just merely impress us with his almighty power. This is a display of meekness, truly controlled strength. And we should desire to be the same, for the meek shall inherit the earth.[iv] In an environment is which humility reigns is where we truly learn about life and are truly grateful for all that we have. When we are grateful for all that we have, an environment not contingent on what we’ve received but what we can give is then promoted and love is the product.
Love, the greatest and most powerful emotion we will ever feel. All other emotions and feelings that we have are all connected to love. Anger, sadness, joy, excitement, etc., will always lead us toward the desire of love, never the other way around. Reflect on this. Love is truly generous; it is about sacrifice. Being generous means giving your all and not expecting anything in return; a charitable act defined by a true absence of self. The absence of one’s self is what courage is and is a true act of selflessness. And the greatest act of courage ever made came from one whom we all should desire and conform to his image. It was his sacrifice. It was his passion. For he made us after his image; he made us after his very own character.
Only the most courageous of us can truly love. Courage is what builds strength and wisdom. Love is such a strong passion that a weakened heart will not persevere. Wisdom is forged during times of trials and tribulations that we must persevere through. A man of strength and wisdom can truly love; a man of strength and wisdom is truly alive. Without God we are weak, so he himself became weak and became all things to all men, so that he could save us and give us the strength to overcome our weakness.[v] And to build strength means we must first have humbled ourselves so that we may be lifted up. To be lifted up means to truly be alive in abundant eternity with our glorious Creator, our Father in heaven.
For existing is not truly being alive. For every man dies, but not every man really lives.[vi]
[i] Ecclesiastes 3:11
[ii] Luke 15:24
[iii] Psalm 37:4
[iv] Psalm 37:11
[v] 1 Corinthians 9:22